how much wood would a woodchuck chuck

Qn: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

The answer to this age old question has perplexed people for eons.

Part of the reason the question is so difficult to answer is that the amount of wood that woodchucks would chuck on a given day varies greatly with the seasons and with the metabolisms of any individual woodchuck.

Modern internet technology has advanced to the point that we can reliably monitor the amount a woodchuck chucks in real time.

The results of this monitoring are shown below. Please note that the numbers vary due to the dispositions of the woodchucks involved.

Attention: Woodchucks don't chuck unless you use Microsoft Internet Explorer as your browser.... Netscape scares them.

Average amount of wood a woodchuck would chuck in a given day 790 butt cords of wood.

Median amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck in a given hour 469 butt cords of wood.

Record high for woodchuck wood chucking of 5901 butt cords was attained on June 15, 1996.

(NOTE: the above tabulations take into account that woodchuks chuck no wood on February second, in observance of ground hog day.)

*thanks to the crazy people on the clayboard who have nothing better to do but calculate a woodchuck's wood chucking count.

mood: weird

listening to: running - no doubt